The one that got away

There is always that person who you always wanted but could never have for some reason. But that doesn't mean you stop thinking about them or wanting them. You will still think about that person and wonder how things could be if you wouldn't have done what you did . We all know things happen for a reason but like I said, that doesn't stop us from wondering why or how.

That thing called us started and ended very quick , we were young and things happen but I never stopped questioning things. I've had boyfriends and you've had girlfriends but at the end of the day, I still wonder how things would be if I didn't make my decision based on popularity in high school. I never meant to hurt you in the process of finding myself , I don't think you understand that though. I know once a male ego is bruised, it's bruised and there isn't much that can be done . My apologies are never ending and very sincere but it's on you to let things from the past go and I can't force you to do it now. All I can do is sit back and let nature take its course again and hope that it works out in my favor. Just want to let you know that there was never anything wrong with you, you were always nice and sweet to me and very accepting, even after I hurt you. You're the true definition of a grown young man and I admire that the most. This isn't me bedding you to be with me but this is me telling you how I feel about the situation and if I could change it, I would but the ball is in your court.


Double or nothing?

Freestyle 2011

shes a hoe , she fucked numerous dudes, got what she wanted outta it but she a hoe. he does the same but he a playa, everybody praises him. confusin isnt it?! however, no matter how much of a hoe she might be, he finds his way back to her & like a true lover, she lets him back . he disrespect her in her face, but followup w.a kiss. she reached her limits recently, he didnt knw how to take it so he swung, his words felt like a fist . bitch was the nicest word he used when he caught up to her. he had tears in his eyes, for the first time she seen the hurt in his face that she'd been feeling for years. i mean , as a man, how would you feel if you caught the one girl you loved w.your right hand man's dick in her mouth . but who are you to get upset when you caught her while holdin his bitch hand? its funny how Karma catches up to us huh :)

Bamboozled

we've all been "bamboozled" by the opposite sex. you know how they tend to sell us false dreams and hope and act as if nothing happend? yea i know you've felt it , but i have too. more than once and im sure the last time wasnt really the last. my whole thing is, dont sell me bullshit hopes and dreams. dont say you looking for a relationship when you know you looking for a night of passion. i believe its mean and inconsiderate. ill respect you more if you just said what you were really looking for. you a man right? or do you just like the way it sounds when you sayin it to yo boys? to me, a man would speak the truth, his true intentions however a lil boy will lie to get what he wants. so which are you? are you a lil boy, claiming to be a man or are you a real man? personally , ive had enuff lil boys, i want a man. if you aint bringing nothing to the table, you aint gone eat. if you arent gonna keep me motivated, what are you here for? let me know? bc i can go to a store and get what you have in your pants and it might be better! so let me know? what do you have to offer me? im 22, smart, driven, i have a career, im not completely on my feet but i will be soon. what can you add to that? bc if you thinkin bout subtractin from it, you got another thang coming. im not into dividing neither so either you adding to it or multiplying to a greater number.

ill say this once and ill never say it again, i will NOT be bamboozled anymore, i wont fall for anymore of the games. i am more than the warmth my vagina has to offer & if you cant figure that out on your own, then we have no reason to talk. im on my shit , im about to do this, at first i thought i needed a nigga to tell me "good job" "im proud of you" but shit, aint NO nigga there when i need that lil push, lemme take that back, my nephews and my daddy are always there for me .other than those 3 men, i have no man worth stoppin my life and dreams for. im not bitter but i frustrated bc i give my all and what do i get in return? NOTHING BUT FALSE HOPE AND DREAMS!

FUCK YOU IF YOU HAD ME AND LEFT ME..im someone elses treasure, he searching and he shall find.

The spirit of life

I asked a few friends what I should write about today and they gave me a lot of good topics but my bestfriend gave me one that would open my mind and hopefully your eyes . She said ,"the spirit of life" and I said I don't even know what that means and she elaborated and said ,"life and what it means to you" I've written about my life plenty of times but I've never went in on what it means to me , which is actually very strange but there's a first time for everything so here it goes

My life started in the early morning hours of February 17,1989. When I opened my eyes and took my first breaths, that was my first stage of life. I survived my first night, my first year , now I'm 23 and I'm still living. I take a lot of things for granted. For instance , I took my grandmother for granted, I never thought BA would leave us, to be honest, I use to tell my cousins that she would never die . I know it isn't right to take a life for granted because it can be taken at any time. When god called my granny home, my world stopped for the longest minute ever, I had to come to terms with the fact that she was gone and never coming back and I believe that part hurt me the most. My grandmother lived her life for her family and making sure we never went without , superhuman is what she was. The impact she had on the lives of others was remarkable.

I make a lot of bad choices in my everyday life, at one point of time, I was living to please everybody except kiera. It wasn't until recently that I realized that wasnt the way to go. When you're laying in a hospital bed, with no one by your side but niggas on your phone steady tryna get a nutt off, you realize that you aren't living right. Since the age of 19, I've been in and out of emergency rooms and I cant remember one time where one of the guys I was catering to , was there catering to me. Things like that makes you look at your life and think like damn, is this how life is suppose to be ? And the answer is NO! I was careless with my health for so many years and it wasn't until recently when I had to take a step back and tell myself that MY LIFE is more than hospitals and IVs . So when asked what life is to me , I'll answer and say, life is my choices, decisions,my goals and everything else important and beneficial to KIERA. My life means so much to me, I don't have kids but I have young ppl looking up to me so I can't fail at it. There's been times where I contemplated suicide and the thought of the pain I would cause my family and people who invested so much in me, stopped me because deep down I know I'm worth alot more than what I settle for. I'm a big dreamer and life is my reality .

And in reality, I'll succeed and continue to cherish my life

dear you,(my love letter to life&bs)

why?! when?! what did i do to deserve this shit? idk what i ever did to you for you to hit me this hard. ive never even met you but you know me very well now, if i could snap and make you disappear, i would but i cant. i wish a WISH was all i needed to make you go away because you aint doing shit but hurting me daily. why were you even born? who thought and created you? are you the seed of lucifer or what? i swear you are . all you wanna do is kill my joy , make my nights sleepless and make me hate people. im not even the type to hate anything but i swear you fill me with so much disgust. i wish you would go away , go tf away .. i pray on it and you're still here. i get on my knees and pray you off and you're still here. what do i have to do? oh yea, theres nothing i can do, all you're gonna do is come right back when im weak. you feed off my weakness and for that, i PROMISE ill stay strong until my last breath. you will not defeat me , ive been thru too much w.your friends, your homies and even your mother, none of them won and neither will you. you will slowly fade away , away outta my mind , & the day that i NEVER think of you, will be the greatest day of my life!

FUCK YOU ,
Kiera T.

it never fails

It never fails. One worthless ass conversation leads to bullshit after bullshit! im sooo tired of the bullshit . theres nothing that id love more than to RID myself of EVERY bullshit ass situation ive put myself in with worthless ass people. i've come to the conclusion that you can NOT be friends with exs. especially those who know eachother. no matter how much i love one, ive fucked w.the other one first so i guess it means nothing. it was doomed from the start but we started it anyway, didnt know love was gonna come of it but hey it did. whoever woulda thought 5 years later, the dick measuring contest continues. if i had a choice to be with either of the two, it'd be he whom is tatted, lets get that straight off the back. i really dont even see why it matters who i talk to , im not w.either but i do understand one has the right to feel a certain way bc we still talk. i yi yi ! i dont know what to think other than angry thoughts. i hate when im blamed for a nigga messiness , especially when i really had NO part in it ...but i guess thats life right? im gonna rid myself of the bullshit for good, watch me go mia on muthafuckas ....

unstabled.

i dont know exactly whats going on.. im confused dude. im happy then im sad and you are to blame. got ppl thinking im hallucinating and shit. got ppl thinking im fucking myself. thats how invisible you are. you swear its because you dont want ppl in yo biz but im not a dumb bitch , i wasnt born yesterday, nor the day before that. so please know that all the bullshit games you playing, ive played em or they've been played on me...so im already knowing. im not a desperate bitch by any means, i aint never pressed for dick, money, or attention. i just WANT yours. i WANT yo dick, i WANT your attention but i dont want your money. i aint never needed a nigga for that. *pauses to answer a call from "restricted"* yea thats you calling. blocked numbers for special reasons right? anyway like i said.. i dont NEED shit from you. all i want is happiness , happiness that the last nigga couldnt give me but you aint worried about that. you worried boutt that green shit, i aint a factor. i wish i woulda knew this shit before i fucked you. it wouldnt have happend. believe that. now im stuck here with fucked up feelings..and you, man you good. aint got a fucking worry. the only time you worried about me is when im not on time, on YOUR time..ugh im getting mad sitting here thinking about this shit bc ill never fucking understand your mind! or thought process. all i know is that im a good female. i do for mines, everything i possibly can and i never ask for shit in return except respect . i cant get that so now im unstabled. i think you should watch your words for the next few days.