a dip into REALITY

Some people like the sympathy from others, they like to get their heads rubbed and told everything is going to be ok. She didn’t grow up rough, nope not at all. Sheltered is what she really was, her entire life until an untimely death that left her whole family in shambles. The glue that held the family together had just passed, what was any of them going to do? Go on with life to the best of their abilities and never let the legacy of their “glue” die. They all tried to do exactly that, except her. Truth is, the “glue” raised her since birth, stepped in where her mother couldn’t, but only because of her own selfish ways. She didn’t know what to do after she heard the news, she felt as if she was the only one that felt the pain but the truth is, the whole family felt it. Everyone grieves in their own way. She chose to act out. Hanging out late, around the common thugs, having intercourse with who knows, and being very disrespectful towards everyone. Excuses after excuses, tears after tears. She’d mess up, go off, then apologize and ask for forgiveness from her family. They all cried with her because they cared. She went through a very tragic life threatening event, one that would slow down any fast tail female. It calmed her down for a while but then she developed this “it’s me against the world” type attitude. Through it all, she had her times of saying FUCK FAMILY, as if they weren’t the ones always there for her when the world turned its back. The things she went through and put herself through became unbearable for certain family member; a lot of them washed their hands of her due to the disrespect. She did certain things, said certain things, switched up personalities very often and then she would try to apologize for it. It became a cycle. A very bad cycle. Everyone became immune to her nonsense. At the end of all her antics, there was one family member that stood up for her, no matter what. Until recently, the family member decided not to cry for her anymore, she could no longer take up for the dumb decisions she chose to make, playing the victim got old and she couldn’t take it anymore. There’s not a known feeling that is worse than the one you feel when you are washing your hands of someone you love soooo much. I know SHE has to learn from her own mistakes but due to the fact that I blamed MYSELF for most of her mistakes, I blamed myself. I blamed myself instead of blaming her absent mother, absent by choice; she lives within city limits and does nothing to help this young girl. Another one that believes the world owes them something because of HER choices and lack of good judgment. When my grandmother passed away, her mother was supposed to step in and do her duties but she didn’t. Like mother, like child, they both acted as if the death of our GLUE only bothered them. I guess the selfish ways of a mother does rub off on her seeds. YET, I blamed myself until last night. I will no longer carry this burden, I cannot. With that being said, I’m washing my hands of the whole situation, you think those FRIENDS got your back; let’s see how long they stay there. Cry for her if you want to, SHE won’t get any more of my tears.