The Blessing in the Lesson

The Blessing in the LESSON
By: Kiera Thomas

“Lance, hurry the hospital is on the phone!” my mom’s voice echoed through the entire house. I jolted outta my sleep when I heard the word HOSPITAL. It was time! It was finally time! I hurriedly slipped on my sweats and t-shirt I laid out last night when I got to my mom house. “Lance!!!!” her piercing voice reminded me why I moved out when I turned eighteen. I’d only come back because Karisha was close to being due and I was tired of commuting back and forth from the valley. She’d had two false alarms this month, I honestly believed she was doing it for attention but my mom told me not to think like that. Shit, if she knew who I was dealing with, she would’ve thought the same thing. “Here I come ma”, I yelled as I slipped on my Nike slippers and headed to her bedroom. When I walked in the door, she was still in the bed with her scarf tied weird on her head; it looked like it was coming off due to her reckless sleepy habits. “Hold on one second, he’s right here”, she said as she snarled at me. I chuckled and took the phone from her. “Hello Mr. Jones, this is LT. Thomas from the correctional facility. Inmate Karisha Gower is in labor and on her way to the hospital, please meet us there so you can fill out proper paperwork.” My heart almost bounced out of my chest, my baby was finally on his way. “Yes, Ma’am, I’ll meet you guys there”. With that, I hung up the phone and my legs felt like noodles. I stood at the foot of my mom bed, holding the phone and looking into space. “Lance, what’s wrong?” my mom asked, snapping me out of my daze. “The baby on his way”, I replied. At the moment my legs completely went out. It was surreal. I felt my mom sit up in the bed, she began rubbing my back, “Baby you got this, believe me, you got this!” she assured me. I looked up at her with tears in my eyes, “I’ll be all he’s got, I can’t let him down ma, and I don’t know if I can do it.” She paused and looked at me like I was out of my mind, “Lance Jamaal Jones, I did not raise no punks! I didn’t raise a deadbeat! I raised a smart, powerful KING. You will be just fine baby, and you got me and Rocky if you get overwhelmed”. She looked at me and I nodded my head, “Okay now go get my grandbaby, you want me to come?” she asked. I didn’t want to seem like a punk but shit I needed the support and Rocky was at work. “Please ma”, she smiled at me and said, “Okay lemme unwrap my hair and throw something on, go brush your mouth though, it’s funky”. We both cracked up laughing. I love my mother, she is always there when I need her the most and I knew I would need her so much more in the days, shit, the years coming.

Karisha
“Ma’am, you’re going to start pushing in a few minutes, are you ready?” the nurse was too happy for my likings though. I’m happy my baby is about to make his debut into this cold ass world but it’s also bittersweet. I wouldn’t have any time with my son; I heard as soon as he comes out, they take him from me. I won’t be able to hold him or tell him I love him, and it’s my entire fault. So I wasn’t in the happy cheery mood to push when the nurse said it was time. “Come on Karisha…1…2…3…PUUUSHHH”, I swear I felt every piece of my womanhood tear, I couldn’t even cry it hurt so badly. “Arrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”, I tried to push him out with one push, this pushing shit is for the birds, I thought to myself. “Okay Karisha, his head is out, give me one more big push, let’s go!!” this time it was the doctor who was too happy. I looked down at him and rolled my eyes and took a deep breath. “AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGH OH MY FUCKIN GOSH!!!!!”, and with that last push, my son was born. The doctor pulled him out of me and laid him across my chest, I looked to my left to see if it was okay to touch him, the nurse nodded “yes”.
My heart broke the minute I looked into his eyes; he looked nothing like Stanley and every bit of Baby Ragg. His slanted eyes were the size of fishbowls, something he clearly inherited from his father. I rubbed my fingers through the big sandy brown curls in his hair. His nose was identical to mine and his lips were a mixture of both his parents. I felt the tears forming in my eyes as the nurse lifted him off my chest. I watched as she walked him over to the incubator to take his weight and length. “7 pounds 4 ounces, 18 inches long”, she yelled so the other nurse could write it down. “Nice healthy baby boy”, the doctor chimed in. I tried to give him a smile now, I could barely muster a smile but I tried. I tried to move around in the bed but I remembered my wrist was cuffed to the rail. I let out a deep sigh and closed my eyes. “Ms. Gower, do you have a name for this young man?” the nurse asked as she walked back over to me holding a birth certificate. I’d really been thinking hard about a name for my baby, a huge piece of me wanted to name him after his “father”, Stanley, but after looking at him, the truth was finally revealed. “Lesson, his name is Lesson Williams”, I told the nurse. She smiled at me and walked away. I continued laying there and to my surprise, they brought Lesson back to me. He was clean now, with his hospital beanie on, wrapped in his blanket. I held him and searched his face for all the answers I needed, I knew he couldn’t speak so when I heard the deep baritone, it caught me completely off-guard.
When I looked up from my son, it was his father who locked eyes with me. I was stuck, I didn’t know what to say or do, and I just sat there with my head down. He had an older woman with him; he looked just like her so I figured it was his mother. “How are you?” he asked in a sincere tone, which surprised me. “I’m….. Well …. Shit I don’t know”, I replied honestly. I didn’t know how I felt; I knew I felt kind of empty and pissed, knowing he was there to take my baby from me. He walked closer to the bed and sat at the foot, looking behind him, he said, “Oh Karisha, this is my mom, Ms. Valerie. Mom this is… Karisha”. I gave a weak smile; I really didn’t have enough energy to be as cheery as they probably expected me to be. “Hi Ms. Valerie, Nice to meet you, I hate that it has to be like this”, I said as I lifted my arm that was cuffed to the bedrail. “Everything happens for a reason, nice to meet you too”. I’m not sure if she had an attitude but something about her tone wasn’t too enthused. She barely looked at me; I turned my attention back toward my son.
“So what’s his name?” baby Rag asked as he looked at the baby in my arms. I started trembling as soon as the question left his lips; I knew he’d have a fit once I told him. “His name is Lesson…” I paused and looked down at Lesson, “Lesson Williams”. Ms. Valerie gasped and held her mouth; Baby Rag looked at me like I’d lost my mind. “WHAT DID YOU SAY?!” he said walking closer to the bed. I couldn’t even look at him when I spoke, I was too afraid to see the rage in his eyes because I knew it was there. “What the fuck did you say his name was Karisha?” he repeated himself, in a much deeper tone. I looked up at Ms. Valerie, she looked disgusted. I felt like shit but something in me didn’t give a fuck to be honest. “I said his name is Lesson Williams”, I repeated myself as I looked Rag square in the eye. His hands trembled, his nostrils flared. He took a few more steps closer to the bed and I tried to move but I couldn’t. Before I knew it, he had a grip on my arm, it hurt so badly. “Why in the FUCK would you give MY son another nigga last name? You fucking sick!” he squeezed my arm as he spoke. “Lance let go of her”, his mom finally spoke up, and I looked at him pleading with my eyes to let me go. He ignored his mom and didn’t loosen his grip. “Lance you’re hurting me”, I said as I laid there in agonizing pain. He still didn’t budge. “You really gave my son”, he turned around and looked at his mom, “She really gave my child Stanley’s last name?” He looked like he was in a daze when he looked back at me. “Baby let her go”, Ms. Valerie spoke softly as she began to pry his grip off my arm. When Baby Rag looked at his mom, his face softened just a little bit and I felt him release my arm as he turned and stormed out the room.

Baby Ragg
I felt the steam coming off my body as I walked through the hospital. Today was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life but nah; I was ready to catch a domestic violence charge. Thinking back, I never thought this bitch was as delusional as she’s turning out to be now. I should’ve taken heed to the shit Stanley would say about her to X and I. “That bitch crazy, she ain’t got no sense cut… I should’ve stopped a long time ago…. She can’t let a nigga go cuh”. The shit he said replayed in my head and I couldn’t help but to think that Karma was officially running its course.
“What kind of sick bitch names her child after a nigga, knowing he ain’t the damn father?” I yelled into the iPhone I had pressed against my ear. I found myself pacing the ground outside the hospital; I was really appalled with the shit I’d just got wind of. People walking in the hospital looked at me funny, I snarled at every last one of them, daring them to say something. Rocky tried to calm me down on the other end of the phone, “Babe, you know she’s delusional. We been knew this but I totally understand why you’re mad baby. Please just calm down”. Rocky had a way of calming me down but right now, I dint want to hear that shit. “Okay ima go back in now, I’ll call you back”, I hung up before she could say bye.
When I turned to walk back into the hospital doors, my mom greeted me with her arms opened wide. I didn’t have to say anything; I just walked into her arms. Once I felt her warmth and smelled the lingering scent of the Angel perfume she always wore, I knew I could break down and I did just that. I didn’t understand why I was so emotional, I just knew I was mad as hell and the only thing I could do is cry. “I’m supposed to be happy momma! This is the day my first son was born!” I cried harder as I talked. My mom rocked me back and forth. “It’s going to be okay baby, let it out. Look at the blessing in all of this and never forget the lessons you’re learning, starting right now.” I knew she was right, today my son, my first born son was brought into this world and he’s a healthy, beautiful baby boy. I just couldn’t understand Karisha’s logic, “But why would she do that? She looked at that baby and knew he was mine yet she gave him Stanley’s last name”. I felt myself getting angry again. I wiped my face and kissed my mom on her cheek. “I gotta talk to her”, I said as I walked away.
July 4, 2013
The day started off how it usually would, me and my boys working like slaves with the moms on the block getting the stuff ready for the big party. It never fails every Fourth of July, Xavier, Stanley and I was put to work at the crack of daylight. So this year was no different, “Lance, boy pull up those damn pants or go get a belt!” Mrs. Williams, Stanley’s mom, yelled at me. I chuckled because I knew Xavier’s mom, and my mom would be next to chime in about my pants sagging. “Girl he think it’s cute, I don’t know what girl is gonna want a boy with his pants hanging off his ass…or maybe he wants a boy”, my mom gave me the side-eye. “That’s not even funny momma”, I quickly pulled my pants up. They both cracked up laughing; I didn’t find any of it funny. “You know that’s why we call him “Sweet Pea” right?” Xavier joined in. I shot him a dirty look, “Nigga don’t start with the lies cuh”. Stanley stood under the tree chuckling, “And I know yo fat ass ain’t talking”, I shot him a look too. “Awwwww okay yall stop, my baby getting mad”, my mom said as she walked over to me and rubbed my back. I moved, “Nahhh misses’ funny guy, I’m off you too”, I said with a slight grin, she knew I was joking. We finished setting up the tables and chairs for the oldies and we made our way back over to Xavier house.
I noticed Lala coming out her gate, “Aye there she goes cuh”, and I alerted Stan because he’d been waiting on her to come outside. When he seen her, I ain’t never seen his fat ass move so fast, me and X laughed. “That nigga so sprung and he don’t even know it”, I said to X as he raised his head from the magazine he was looking at on the couch. He gave them a weird look and turned his attention back to the magazine. “You fucked huh?” I asked him. Xavier looked up at me and back down at the magazine, “You did cuh, and I know you did”. He still didn’t say anything but before I could say anything else, Stanley was making his way back. “We not done cuh”, I said to X as he ignored me. “Man that girl ain't fucking with me, she really tired of my ass”, Stanley said as he walked up.

😁😕😑

I'm not sure what exactly this feeling is but I know it makes my heart flutter. I sometimes tremble when it comes over me, it's like at that very second, you're in my presence but in reality, it's your spirit surrounding me. It becomes hard for me to speak, I can barely even think. My mind is so clouded with the questions that have gone unanswered , the things left unsaid, it's getting really bad. The negative is starting to overshadow the positive shit. It's this part of building a relationship I wish I could skip 

The Blessing in the Lesson

The Blessing In The LESSON 

By: Kiera Thomas

“Lance, hurry the hospital is on the phone!” my mom’s voice echoed through the entire house. I jolted outta my sleep when I heard the word HOSPITAL. It was time! It was finally time! I hurriedly slipped on my sweats and t-shirt I laid out last night when I got to my mom house. “Lance!!!!” her piercing voice reminded me why I moved out when I turned eighteen. I’d only come back because Karisha was close to being due and I was tired of commuting back and forth from the valley. She’d had two false alarms this month, I honestly believed she was doing it for attention but my mom told me not to think like that. Shit, if she knew who I was dealing with, she would’ve thought the same thing. “Here I come ma”, I yelled as I slipped on my Nike slippers and headed to her bedroom. When I walked in the door, she was still in the bed with her scarf tied weird on her head; it looked like it was coming off due to her reckless sleepy habits. “Hold on one second, he’s right here”, she said as she snarled at me. I chuckled and took the phone from her. “Hello Mr. Jones, this is LT. Thomas from the correctional facility. Inmate Karisha Gower is in labor and on her way to the hospital, please meet us there so you can fill out proper paperwork.” My heart almost bounced out of my chest, my baby was finally on his way. “Yes, Ma’am, I’ll meet you guys there”. With that, I hung up the phone and my legs felt like noodles. I stood at the foot of my mom bed, holding the phone and looking into space. “Lance, what’s wrong?” my mom asked, snapping me out of my daze. “The baby on his way”, I replied. At the moment my legs completely went out. It was surreal. I felt my mom sit up in the bed, she began rubbing my back, “Baby you got this, believe me, you got this!” she assured me. I looked up at her with tears in my eyes, “I’ll be all he’s got, I can’t let him down ma, and I don’t know if I can do it.” She paused and looked at me like I was out of my mind, “Lance Jamaal Jones, I did not raise no punks! I didn’t raise a deadbeat! I raised a smart, powerful KING. You will be just fine baby, and you got me and Rocky if you get overwhelmed”. She looked at me and I nodded my head, “Okay now go get my grandbaby, you want me to come?” she asked. I didn’t want to seem like a punk but shit I needed the support and Rocky was at work. “Please ma”, she smiled at me and said, “Okay lemme unwrap my hair and throw something on, go brush your mouth though, it’s funky”. We both cracked up laughing. I love my mother, she is always there when I need her the most and I knew I would need her so much more in the days, shit, the years coming. 

Karisha

“Ma’am, you’re going to start pushing in a few minutes, are you ready?”, the nurse was too happy for my likings though. I’m happy my baby is about to make his debut into this cold ass world but its also bittersweet. I wouldn’t have anytime with my son, I heard as soon as he comes out, they take him from me. I wont be able to hold him or tell him I love him, and its all my fault. So I wasn’t in the happy cheery mood to push when the nurse said it was time. “Come on Karisha…1…2…3…PUUUSHHH”, I swear I felt every piece of my womanhood tear, I couldn’t even cry it hurt so bad. “Arrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”, I tried to push him out with one push, this pushing shit is for the birds, I thought to myself. “Okay Karisha, his head is out, give me one more big push, lets go!!”, this time it was the doctor who was too happy. I looked down at him and rolled my eyes and took a deep breath. “AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGH OH MY FUCKIN GOSH!!!!!”,and with that last push, my son was born. The doctor pulled him out of me and laid him across my chest, I looked to my left to see if it was okay to touch him, the nurse nodded “yes”.

My heart broke the minute I looked into his eyes, he looked nothing like Stanley and every bit of Baby Ragg. His slanted eyes were the size of fishbowls, something he clearly inherited from his father. I rubbed my fingers through the big sandy brown curls in his hair. His nose was identical to mine and his lips were a mixture of both his parents. I felt the tears forming in my eyes as the nurse lifted him off my chest. I watched as she walked him over to the incubator to take his weight and length. “7 pounds 4 ounces, 18 inches long”, she yelled so the other nurse could write it down. “Nice healthy baby boy”, the doctor chimed in. I tried to give him a smile now, I could barely muster a smile but I tried. I tried to move around in the bed but I remembered my wrist was cuffed to the rail. I let out a deep sigh and closed my eyes. “Ms. Gower, do you have a name for this young man?”, the nurse asked as she walked back over to me holding a birth certificate. I’d really been thinking hard about a name for my baby, a huge piece of me wanted to name him after his “father” , Stanley, but after looking at him, the truth was finally revealed.  “Lesson, his name is Lesson Williams”, I told the nurse. She smiled at me and walked away. I continued laying there and to my surprise, they brought Lesson back to me. He was clean now, with his hospital beanie on, wrapped in his blanket. I held him and searched his face for all the answers I needed, I knew he couldn’t speak so when I heard the deep baritone, it caught me completely off-guard.

When I looked up from my son, it was his father who locked eyes with me. I was stuck, I didn’t know what to say or do, I just sat there with my head down. He had an older women with him, he looked just like her so I figured it was his mother. “How are you?”, he asked in a sincere tone, which surprised me. “I’m….. well …. Shit I don’t know”, I replied honestly. I didn’t know how I felt, I knew I felt kind of empty and pissed, knowing he was there to take my baby from me. He walked closer to the bed and sat at the foot, looking behind him, he said, “Oh Karisha, this is my mom, Ms. Valerie. Mom this is… Karisha”. I gave a weak smile, I really didn’t have enough energy to be as cheery as they probably expected me to be. “Hi Ms. Valerie, Nice to meet you, I hate that it has to be like this”, I said as I lifted my arm that was cuffed to the bedrail. “Everything happens for a reason, nice to meet you too”, im not sure if she had an attitude but something about her tone wasn’t too enthused.