The Blessing in the Lesson

The Blessing In The LESSON 

By: Kiera Thomas

“Lance, hurry the hospital is on the phone!” my mom’s voice echoed through the entire house. I jolted outta my sleep when I heard the word HOSPITAL. It was time! It was finally time! I hurriedly slipped on my sweats and t-shirt I laid out last night when I got to my mom house. “Lance!!!!” her piercing voice reminded me why I moved out when I turned eighteen. I’d only come back because Karisha was close to being due and I was tired of commuting back and forth from the valley. She’d had two false alarms this month, I honestly believed she was doing it for attention but my mom told me not to think like that. Shit, if she knew who I was dealing with, she would’ve thought the same thing. “Here I come ma”, I yelled as I slipped on my Nike slippers and headed to her bedroom. When I walked in the door, she was still in the bed with her scarf tied weird on her head; it looked like it was coming off due to her reckless sleepy habits. “Hold on one second, he’s right here”, she said as she snarled at me. I chuckled and took the phone from her. “Hello Mr. Jones, this is LT. Thomas from the correctional facility. Inmate Karisha Gower is in labor and on her way to the hospital, please meet us there so you can fill out proper paperwork.” My heart almost bounced out of my chest, my baby was finally on his way. “Yes, Ma’am, I’ll meet you guys there”. With that, I hung up the phone and my legs felt like noodles. I stood at the foot of my mom bed, holding the phone and looking into space. “Lance, what’s wrong?” my mom asked, snapping me out of my daze. “The baby on his way”, I replied. At the moment my legs completely went out. It was surreal. I felt my mom sit up in the bed, she began rubbing my back, “Baby you got this, believe me, you got this!” she assured me. I looked up at her with tears in my eyes, “I’ll be all he’s got, I can’t let him down ma, and I don’t know if I can do it.” She paused and looked at me like I was out of my mind, “Lance Jamaal Jones, I did not raise no punks! I didn’t raise a deadbeat! I raised a smart, powerful KING. You will be just fine baby, and you got me and Rocky if you get overwhelmed”. She looked at me and I nodded my head, “Okay now go get my grandbaby, you want me to come?” she asked. I didn’t want to seem like a punk but shit I needed the support and Rocky was at work. “Please ma”, she smiled at me and said, “Okay lemme unwrap my hair and throw something on, go brush your mouth though, it’s funky”. We both cracked up laughing. I love my mother, she is always there when I need her the most and I knew I would need her so much more in the days, shit, the years coming. 

Karisha

“Ma’am, you’re going to start pushing in a few minutes, are you ready?”, the nurse was too happy for my likings though. I’m happy my baby is about to make his debut into this cold ass world but its also bittersweet. I wouldn’t have anytime with my son, I heard as soon as he comes out, they take him from me. I wont be able to hold him or tell him I love him, and its all my fault. So I wasn’t in the happy cheery mood to push when the nurse said it was time. “Come on Karisha…1…2…3…PUUUSHHH”, I swear I felt every piece of my womanhood tear, I couldn’t even cry it hurt so bad. “Arrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”, I tried to push him out with one push, this pushing shit is for the birds, I thought to myself. “Okay Karisha, his head is out, give me one more big push, lets go!!”, this time it was the doctor who was too happy. I looked down at him and rolled my eyes and took a deep breath. “AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGH OH MY FUCKIN GOSH!!!!!”,and with that last push, my son was born. The doctor pulled him out of me and laid him across my chest, I looked to my left to see if it was okay to touch him, the nurse nodded “yes”.

My heart broke the minute I looked into his eyes, he looked nothing like Stanley and every bit of Baby Ragg. His slanted eyes were the size of fishbowls, something he clearly inherited from his father. I rubbed my fingers through the big sandy brown curls in his hair. His nose was identical to mine and his lips were a mixture of both his parents. I felt the tears forming in my eyes as the nurse lifted him off my chest. I watched as she walked him over to the incubator to take his weight and length. “7 pounds 4 ounces, 18 inches long”, she yelled so the other nurse could write it down. “Nice healthy baby boy”, the doctor chimed in. I tried to give him a smile now, I could barely muster a smile but I tried. I tried to move around in the bed but I remembered my wrist was cuffed to the rail. I let out a deep sigh and closed my eyes. “Ms. Gower, do you have a name for this young man?”, the nurse asked as she walked back over to me holding a birth certificate. I’d really been thinking hard about a name for my baby, a huge piece of me wanted to name him after his “father” , Stanley, but after looking at him, the truth was finally revealed.  “Lesson, his name is Lesson Williams”, I told the nurse. She smiled at me and walked away. I continued laying there and to my surprise, they brought Lesson back to me. He was clean now, with his hospital beanie on, wrapped in his blanket. I held him and searched his face for all the answers I needed, I knew he couldn’t speak so when I heard the deep baritone, it caught me completely off-guard.

When I looked up from my son, it was his father who locked eyes with me. I was stuck, I didn’t know what to say or do, I just sat there with my head down. He had an older women with him, he looked just like her so I figured it was his mother. “How are you?”, he asked in a sincere tone, which surprised me. “I’m….. well …. Shit I don’t know”, I replied honestly. I didn’t know how I felt, I knew I felt kind of empty and pissed, knowing he was there to take my baby from me. He walked closer to the bed and sat at the foot, looking behind him, he said, “Oh Karisha, this is my mom, Ms. Valerie. Mom this is… Karisha”. I gave a weak smile, I really didn’t have enough energy to be as cheery as they probably expected me to be. “Hi Ms. Valerie, Nice to meet you, I hate that it has to be like this”, I said as I lifted my arm that was cuffed to the bedrail. “Everything happens for a reason, nice to meet you too”, im not sure if she had an attitude but something about her tone wasn’t too enthused.