silent cry [rewrite]

they say a silent cry is never heard but sometimes felt .
can yu feel my pain ?
nope . only [kii] can . i live with it . its tearing me up on the inside and its kind of hard not to show it on the outside , but he told me not to cry , so ima do him that favor .
when the car door closed , i checked my rearview mirror to see if he was walking away , and when i noticed his shadow moving towards his gate , i did the one thing i knew he would hate . i cried . i cried loud , heart-felt tears , i cried so hard i couldnt put my car into gear . i cut off my car so i could sit there and think , my vision got worst everytime i blinked . i asked myself the question he asked me millions of times before , why couldnt i just be right . why did i start not carin . i made the mistake of letting others influence me and my thoughts and i lost the best thing in my life . i cried .
i turned the car on to drive away , i stopped at the stop sign and checked my mirror one more time to see if he would run after the car , nope , not a soul insight . a piece of me knows that he loves me with all his heart , im the only female that can make him do certain things . so tell me what i have to do to get you back permantly. i cried .
i rode all the way home , not listening to beyonce but listenin to my heart bleed , have yu ever heard that before ? its more piercing than an infants cry . and now its the day after and i still sit here in tears because im left without straight answers ..

--KayTeE