Dear Self,

Let's do some self reflecting yea? 

I went backwards. I can't believe I actually fucking did it! I'm so mad at myself because in my mind, I was doing good. I was at peace with everything around me for once. But I became vulnerable, I needed that attention, that spark of interest. I shouldn't have went backwards, I was doing so good. Now I start over again, start fresh and this time I can't look back. I was afraid people were going to stop fuckin with me but now I don't even care. Reality hit me again and the same type of boys are approaching me. They see a pretty face and vulnerability because I want something so bad. But then I cover that up with "I just wanna fuck". It's a defense mechanism I guess... One that isn't really helping at all. I refuse thought, I refuse to let another man touch me without loving me. As of December 4,2014 , I am celibate. NOTHING IS GOING TO CHANGE THAT NO TIME SOON. When I feel weak, I will write. When I want attention, I will write. When I want conversation from someone in my past, i will write. I have to live like I want to help younger girls, I can't help them if I'm still acting reckless. 

A change is coming...

My Open Letter

Dear Peers, 

My name is Kiera Thomas and this is my open letter. 

I am 25 years old, no kids, and to most, I have no worries. I do have worries though, I just can't let myself stress about all of them at once. I decided to write this letter because it was on my heart for so long, I believe God put it there. I do as I am told. Not too sure where to start but I know I have a lot to say.

Recently, I accomplished one of my biggest dreams, I became a published author and my debut novel is doing pretty well. I am humble above everything and thankful too. But of course, there are some people who rather bring up the past rather than concentrate on the present and future. So for that reason, I've decided to TELL ALL. no I'm not doing it for attention, I get enough of that, wanted or unwanted on a daily. As a writer I feel like you aren't suppose to hold back. 

Let's go back about a decade or so. I was a teenager, my body was changing, my hormones were raging and the people around me were finally giving me attention. I took full advantage of that, what high school girl wouldn't? I attended artesia high and Dominguez high as well. While at Artesia, my virginity was taken from me, no I wasn't raped physically but I was mentally and physically taken advantage of. I thought he loved me, everyone else knew he didn't. He told me if I didn't give it up, he would never speak to me again. Being naive, I loss my virginity on a dead end in seal beach. It wasn't romantic at all, there were limited to no feelings on his part and I was confused and wanted badly to please him. After this incident, he felt cool enough to tell the boys at school. I endured weeks of laughter behind my back and a few rude remarks to my face. Guys who I thought were my friends approached me and asked me "why you give it up to a white boy, it was suppose to be me". They thought it was funny, he thought it was cool and I was left hiding in classrooms during school. I left Artesia soon after that and checked into Dominguez. Being as how I was fresh meat to the guys there, a few tried their luck, I fell for two that just so happened to be best friends. I know, that's not a good luck and I didn't mean for it to happen. Good guy, bad boy were the rolls they played. I played mistress to the bad boy but the good boy played me, which lead me into the arms of the bad boy. I really believe that's where my reputation became bad. When both of those ended, I moved around the D, got a boyfriend and eventually went back to Artesia to graduate. 

After high school and those heartache's and breaks, my mentality went from good girl to bag girl. I developed an attitude, I no longer cared about what ppl had to say about me. I hated the double standard that guys could do things that girls couldn't so I did it all. I talked to whoever and did whatever I wanted to do and dared anyone to say anything to me. My mom warned me about my reputation following me but I ignored her because I thought I knew it all. I wasn't until recently that I took heed to her words. I thought being known was cute, cool and the thing to do but it ain't. Because of the things I did back then, it's hard for men to take me serious now. My message to all young girls is :

Keep your SEX, if he loves you, he will wait. Don't homie hop, 9/10 that other homie that seems to be interested how his other homie wasn't, really don't want shit but the sex and things you gave his homie. Finish school, concentrate on your studies and stay away from the people who rather see you living dirty than glamorous. Be a great example if you have younger siblings, believe me they watch your every move. 

I can sit and blame ppl for my actions but that's not me. I did everything bc I wanted to and I've learned my lesson. Don't be a hard head and learn on your own, it's not always good to do that. Take heed to the advice given to you by the people who love you. 

Let's dead some rumors :

Kiera is a hoe. 

No Kiera isn't a hoe, contrary to what is said and believed, I have less bodies than ppl like to put on me.

Kiera talks that no babies stuff but has had a million abortions.

Wrong again, ONE abortion and I can bang that.

There's more but those two haunt me.

I am not the scorn black girl, I am not. I am now completely comfortable in my skin. I am achieving things girls my age aren't even concerned about. I take so much pride in my craft and my ambition is what keeps me going. This was just my open letter to let people know that a person can change. So when you feel like digging up my past, throwing dirt on my name, or just talking negative about me period, make sure you tell em:

She beat major odds, she stuck to her guns, she fell but she got up and

 SHES ON HER SHIT!  

Freestyle September'14

They always say, " don't let your past dictate your future" 

I honestly repeat that line

In my head,

All the time.

When I look behind me,

There's nothing good,

When I look in front of me,

I see everything I should.

No other man has ever taken the time to get to know my mind,

Their main concern is gripping my waist and trailing their fingers down my spine. 

But with you,

It's different.

My past left me with so many unanswered questions,

Questions that you answer with no extra questions asked

You've never caused a tear to fall,

You answer every time I call.

So understand that this is new to me,

It's something about you,

Idk what you do to me.

My past dictated my future for so long,

Out of habit,

I kept going backwards 

Eventhough I knew it was wrong 

You're my present 

And indeed you're a present to me

I'll never look back at my past again

Bc I know there's a king in front of me. 

Revised . Lacey

Lacey

 

"You have a collect call from an inmate at...do you accept" my heart skipped beats, id been waiting for Lacey to call for a few days now. "Please press ..." I knew what to press.

 

"Hello?" Lacey was barely audible.

"Are you okay? Where are you! What the fuck really happened" I felt my voice going above it's normal monotone to damn near a yell.

 

"I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm in Carson" Lacey began to speak but I cut her off. "what the fuck happened Lacey, why are you there yet Chance trifling ass is still walking around!!" I was yelling now. I was sitting on the couch but now I found myself pacing the floor in the den of our home. A home id shared with Lacey and my sisters for a few years now.

 

"I had brass knuckles in my purse, that's a felony but you know why I carry em. They didn't take Chance because they were my brass knuckles."

 

Lacey's voice trailed off as I found myself zoning out. I knew why Lacey carried brass knuckles but I still didn't understand why she was the only one in jail. Chance was an unlicensed driver with warrants , gang file entries and I'm sure there was weed in the car when they got pulled over.  

 

"Hello!" Lacey said into the receiver. I snapped out of my daydream.

 

"I'm here. Well are you okay? When do you go to court?" I asked.

 

"I mean I'm as good as I can be, have you seen Chance?" I immediately got heated.

 

"Why the fuck are you worried about a nigga that let you go to jail? He could've said they were his! He didn't even want to tell us what happened to you! TF!!" I felt myself trembling.

 

Chance wasn't going to tell us that Lacey was arrested had my niece not asked him. I honestly believe he didn't give a fuck.

 

"He does care, when you see him tell him I go to court on Tuesday..."

 

"I'm not telling him shit, he can look it up since he cares so much" I yelled at Lacey. To be so smart, this girl was losing her noodles and fast.

 

"well I have to go now, I'll be home soon" she hung up without saying goodbye. I'd pissed her off, I'm sure of it but I don't care because that's really how I felt.

 

I sat there for a minute with the cordless phone in my lap, just thinking about Lacey and the dumb ass choices she had been making lately. I was at wits end with it, people don't realize they hurt the closes to them when they did shit like this.

 

Just as I was about to go tell my aunt that I spoke to Lacey, there was a knock on the front door. I walked down the hallway, still fuming from my conversation with Lacey but I swear I became even more pissed when I seen who was standing on the other side of the door. Looking dirty and dusty as usual, Chance stood with his back facing the door, I knew it was him from his lack of haircut, typical dirty nigga shit. I clenched my fist around the cordless phone I held, when I opened the door it took everything in me not kick him in his fucking back.

 

I opened the door, he turned to face me. He must've noticed the fucked up look I was giving because almost immediately he began to apologize . "I'm so sorry Cuh, I didn't know they were gonna take her" I just stood there and looked at the butter between his teeth as he spoke. I hoped like hell he didn't think I was going to feed into his sob ass story.

 

"What do you want?" I said as I stood with one hand on my hip. Mentally praying he didn't say the wrong thing because everything in me wanted to kick his ass.

 

"Oh it's like that?" Chance said with a smirk on his face. That made me even madder.

 

"You think this shit is smirk worthy you pathetic ass nigga? This shit is a joke to you huh? You "girlfriend" is in fucking jail and you wanna come over her with a sad ass apology? How bout to go apologize to a bails bondsman and get her TF out!" Chance just stood there looking stupid and angry at the same time. I noticed him clenching his fist.

 

"Oh so you gone hit me? Muthafucka I wish the fuck you might try! I'm not Lacey! I know niiggas that's waiting to get in yo dirty ass! So by all means, hit me! " I looks at him as if he was less than the piece of shit he was.

 

"Have you talked to her cuh?", he spoke through gritted teeth. I guess I was suppose to be intimidated. I laughed, I laughed hard right in his face.

 

"Get the fuck off my property nigga" and I slammed the door in his face. I walked back down the hallway and into the den where my aunt was sitting now.

 

"Who was that at the door Cherish?" She asked me. I guess she heard the commotion.

 

"That was chance dirty ass, asking if I talked to Lacey" my auntie rolled her eyes, she hadn't gave a fuck about Chance since he'd put his hands on Lacey, something I don't think Lacey fully recovered from but for some reason, she went right back to him.

 

"So what did Lacey say happened", my auntie nostrils flared, I knew all of this infuriated her more than anyone else. My auntie had basically raised Lacey after the passing of "mema" , that's what we called our grandmother. Lacey's mom fell a victim to the streets, basically leaving Lacey and her older siblings to be raised by MeMa.

 

"She said they took her because she had brass knuckles in her possession and that's a deadly weapon. She's looking at a felony charge." I took a deep breath, I felt like the walls were closing in on me.

 

"Lord, where we go wrong with that girl? She had all the love in the world but she wants to be bad so damn bad" I could hear the cry in my auntie voice, which pissed me off almost instantly. I hated that my family had to deal with the constant pain from Lacey’s poor decisions.

 

“I don’t know auntie, I really just don’t know. I thought maybe I could talk some sense into her but shes stubborn as hell, cant nobody tell Lacey anything, she knows it all.” I began to walk back towards my room, I need to smoke before I went crazy. What the hell am I going to do, I thought to myself. I don’t know why but I felt responsible for Lacey and all her issues, eventhough I knew first hand I wasn’t to blame.

 

 

 

 

 

 

7 years before…..

 

​Still mourning the death of MEMA, we all sat in the front room of her house, like we would always do. It was different this time though, nobody said a word, we all just looked around helplessly. Everyone was accounted for, except for my little cousin Lacey. Nobody had seen or heard from her since she left for school this morning, this was becoming a normal thing these days.

​My name is Cherish, Cherish Campell to be precise. I am 19 years old, the second oldest daughter of Brenda, and middle grandchild of MEMA. My mema  was a very loving lady, although she had a different way of showing her love for us, we knew she loved us. Mema was the glue to the family, she held us together, without her, I don’t know how we would’ve turned out. Mema had 3 daughters and 1 son, being as how she was a grandmorhter, she had to pick up the slack for one of her daughters, Tanya. Tanya was the oldest daughter, my mom, Brenda coming second and the baby girl , Stephanie. My uncle was rarely around or in our lives for that matter so he really has little significance in this story. ​

​My eldest aunt, Tanya, grew up in the “drug era” and of course, she tried a few and ended up getting hooked. Mema never gave up on Tanya though, picking up where she left off, Mema had custody of most of Tanya kids. Tanya didn’t really give a fuck about responsibilities, she was just worried about the next hit and how she was going to get it. You’re probably asking yourself, “Why does she seem so heartless while talking about her aunt?”, ill tell you why though. I watched for YEARS how Mema would take care of Tanya and her kids, literally. Tanya didn’t have any worries because she knew Mema would be there when she couldn’t.

​Tanya had been in and out of jail, rehab twice and still managed to be on drugs. Given birth to 5 kids in total, Tanya only had custody of one, Lil Charles. Mema had custody and raised the other 4 as her own, Terrance , Keisha, Brandon and Lacey were all raised under the same roof , Mema’s roof of course. My grandmother did it with ease though, you could never tell that something was bothering her, she always kept her poker face on. I cant say Mema struggled because she would never show weakness, it wasn’t until she got sick that I started see how much stress was on her.

​Mema was diagnosed with Pancreotic Cancer and nobody knew too much about the disease and by the time we learned about it, it was too late. Mema was already too far gone so the doctors sent her home so that she could be comfortable. Lacey, being the closes to Mema because she was a baby when the courts handed her over to Mema, took it extremely hard. It was a downward spiral for Lacey and her behavior after Mema took her last breath. It all happened so fast and nobody could understand why or what to do about it. She began to rebel, horribly, and she didn’t care how it effected any of us in the family.

 

“I haven’t talked to her since she left for school this morning, and that was at like 7:10am”, I told my aunt Stephanie as I sat in Mema’s big rocking chair in the livingroom. It was now 8:30pm, and nobody had any idea as to where Lacey could be. Everyone looked at me like I had the answers they needed. Yes, I was the closes to Lacey but I had no idea where she could be, I was worried just like everyone else.  

 

“You sure you haven’t talked to her?”, Terrance, my oldest cousin, asked as he sat across from me on the loveseat. Instantly my attitude went from bad to worse. I didn’t hate Terrance but he was just so mean and he didn’t seem like he really cared about us so I didn’t know why he was acting now. As a big brother, he was suppose to know what was going on his baby sister life but of course, he didn’t.

 

I rolled my eyes and said, “Yes im sure!”. My auntie Stephanie mustve felt the heat coming from me, because she jumped in. 

“Well the police should be here any minute”. 

We all looked at her, “The police”, we all said at the same time. “Yes the police, im filing a missing persons report, I don’t care if she aint been gone for 48 hours, this aint like Lacey.” She was clearly standing firm with he decision to get the police involved.

 

 

Lacey "Lost and Turned Out"

Lacey

"You have a collect call from an inmate at...do you accept" my heart skipped beats, id been waiting for Lacey to call for a few days now. "Please press ..." I knew what to press. 

"Hello?" Lacey was barely audible. 

"Are you okay? Where are you! What the fuck really happened" I felt my voice going above it's normal monotone to damn near a yell. 

"I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm in Carson" Lacey began to speak but I cut her off. "what the fuck happened Lacey, why are you there yet Chance trifling ass is still walking around!!" I was yelling now. I was sitting on the couch but now I found myself pacing the floor in the den of our home. A home id shared with Lacey and my sisters for a few years now. 

"I had brass knuckles in my purse, that's a felony but you know why I carry em. They didn't take Chance because they were my brass knuckles."

 Lacey's voice trailed off as I found myself zoning out. I knew why Lacey carried brass knuckles but I still didn't understand why she was the only one in jail. Chance was an unlicensed driver with warrants , gang file entries and I'm sure there was weed in the car when they got pulled over. 

"Hello!" Lacey said into the receiver. I snapped out of my daydream. 

"I'm here. Well are you okay? When do you go to court?" I asked.

"I mean I'm as good as I can be, have you seen Chance?" I immediately got heated. 

"Why the fuck are you worried about a nigga that let you go to jail? He could've said they were his! He didn't even want to tell us what happened to you! TF!!" I felt myself trembling. 

Chance wasn't going to tell us that Lacey was arrested had my niece not asked him. I honestly believe he didn't give a fuck. 

"He does care, when you see him tell him I go to court on Tuesday..." 

"I'm not telling him shit, he can look it up since he cares so much" I yelled at Lacey. To be so smart, this girl was losing her noodles and fast. 

"well I have to go now, I'll be home soon" she hung up without saying goodbye. I'd pissed her off, I'm sure of it but I don't care because that's really how I felt. 

I sat there for a minute with the cordless phone in my lap, just thinking about Lacey and the dumb ass choices she had been making lately. I was at wits end with it, people don't realize they hurt the closes to them when they did shit like this. 

Just as I was about to go tell my aunt that I spoke to Lacey, there was a knock on the front door. I walked down the hallway, still fuming from my conversation with Lacey but I swear I became even more pissed when I seen who was standing on the other side of the door. Looking dirty and dusty as usual, Chance stood with his back facing the door, I knew it was him from his lack of haircut, typical dirty nigga shit. I clenched my fist around the cordless phone I held, when I opened the door it took everything in me not kick him in his fucking back. 

How can you possibly call yourself a man..

How can you possibly call yourself a man?

I sit and listen to people talk about you,

They speak so highly of this person I've never met,

Because you ain't been shit ever,

Not since the day we met.

Shit be cool, all fun and games but I think it's a problem when your child doesnt know your name .

How can you possibly call yourself a man? 

Growing up,

My daddy was in my life,

Prolly missed a few events but I remember him being there more times than not. 

You never forget the presence of your daddy

So you cant possibly think your kids have forgotten.

They haven't forgot that their daddy has never really been there,

They see you on pictures doing fun shit,

They haven't forgot how you was suppose to pick them up but you suddenly forgot. 

How can you possibly call yourself a man? 

Birthdays, Christmas and holidays in between 

They haven't forgot that all you did was sell em a dream.

No birthday gifts, no birthday cards, no Christmas gifts but you expect your seeds to respect you.

They fear you, when you come around they cringe, they barely even talk and you think it's cool but it's not, I'll never understand how a deadbeat ass nigga could refer to himself as a man. 

A man takes care of home,

No matter how many different addresses you have

You don't even pick up the phone to ask how their day went,

First day of school, 

Daddy wasn't there, 

Do you not realize how much that effects a child? 

They see you playing favorites, 

How do you play favorites when all of them were made from the mixture of your nutt? 

How can you possibly call yourself a man?

These bitches are weak,

There's no way I could be submissive to a baby making coward like you. 

Might be cool as hell,

 but a man who doesn't take care of home isn't a man at all, 

You don't even realize that not being a good father will forever be your downfall. 

They didn't ask to be born and their mother didn't make them alone,

She carried them for 9 months,

The pain , the agony but she still finds reasons to smile. She does it all by herself and she has every reason to be proud. But hey, that's the real definition of a great woMAN. 

The moral of the story is that a deadbeat isn't a man at all, he's just a bitch with balls.

the beauty UNSEEN (part 2 of the "love senses" collection)

When she looked at him,
everything seemed okay.
he was handsome,
fresh haircut and facial hair,
clean shoes,
you know what they say about a man with dirty shoes.
Thank God his were clean.
He was with a group of guys but something about him stood out from them.

He rocked a pair of Raybans,
I always loved those dark shades,
something about em made a thug look beyond handsome.
Raybans, Levis, white tee and a fresh fade.
where did he come from and why am I just now seeing him.
I've been around for a little while now so I know if I would've seen him,
he would've been noticed.

I guess his boys seen me looking,
one leaned over and whispered something in his ear
but dude never looked in my direction,
man I could take everything expect rejection.
but it came with the territory,
looking at a yellow dude never gets you far if you're a female of my complexion.

I took it for what it was,
went back to doing what I was doing,
my whole point of coming to the bar was to get my buzz on.
I sat there,
throwing shots back with my girls,
laughing and faded giggles.
then there was a tap on my shoulder,
the look on my girls faces let me know it was something good,
I turned around and to my surprise,
it was you.

you extended your hand,
still wearing your shades,
I accepted your hand,
a firm shake huh?
a man with confidence I could tell.
you rubbed my hand as you held it,
I'd never had sucha thing done to me.

you introduced yourself as "Q"
I said I'm Kii.
I complimented your outfit, and your looks.
you stepped closer and told me you wish you could say the same.

rejection slapped me right in my face,
again,
this time I just wanted to leave this place,
it seem to be bad luck tonight,
I told you it was nice meeting you,
you grabbed my hand again,
still wearing your shades,
you held my face in hands,
rubbing your thumb across the lining of my eyes and lips,
you removed your shades.
I lost my breath,
your eyes,
the color of the beautiful blue sea,
then you said to me..

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I was born with no sight, my hands are my eyes.
I couldn't compliment you yet bc I hadn't felt your beauty just yet.
your beautiful eyes, your full lips,
I just seen half of your beauty with my fingertips.

kaytee

Can't get right

can't get right 

It's like no matter what we do, we just can't get it right. Everything goes good for about a week and then it falls apart overnight. 

The feelings are there but I'm not sure if they're the right kind. Or maybe it's the wrong time? We started this in high school, wasn't that suppose to be the right time, we never made it past the week mark, maybe what we lackin is the real spark.

You know that feeling you get when I look at you? The butterflies you give me, do you ever feel those? No? Well that's where the problem comes in. Without the spark, we are nothing but two people, no matter how we try to play our parts, our roles in this romance. No that's what it's lacking, there's no romance, maybe I should light some candles, cook for you, cater to you? 

I just don't think we're ever gonna get it right, every conversation ends with an argument, and now I'm too tired to fight. Maybe we felt obligated to give this a try, you know, because we were so young and innocent when it started? We should have been gone our separate ways, we should have been parted. This is like turning water into wine, as bad as I wanna try again, neither one of us has the time.

Can't get right, we done did so much wrong, maybe we should just snap back into reality and let it go, it was worth a try, 13 tries ago. 

Can't get right. 

The Poet

The Poet

You ever had a man talk your panties off?

He unhooked my bra with his words,

Every word, a hook was loosened, before I knew it, my pussy was throbbing and my clit, on fire, he licked and blew it. 

Maybe it was like a haiku ,

Nah it was more like an acrostic piece

The touch of

His skin and the smile on his face 

Even while he devoured me, the expression never changed 

Pussy juices drippin down his chin

One word after another as he made me feel 

Every meaning of every word he spoke that poetic shit

That got me right where he wanted me,

Riding the face of The Poet 

KAYTEE 

Masturbation

Masturbation

a perfect scenario

Roll up that fire,

I won't use a swisher tonight

I'll roll up a doob

A glass of wine and a hot shower.

shower steaming up the bathroom,

Doors locked so nobody intrudes, 

On this self love making with no distractions yes this is the perfect "single woman" attraction.

Spark it up,

Inhale, 

Let that shit replace the air in your chest,

Exhale like a G,

Real bitches don't cough or scream.

Grab the lotion and baby powder,

Sitting in front of the mirror, you realize that pussy is a beautiful sight to see, part them lips, chocolate lips leading to a cherry pink sea. Juices flowing, just from the mere thought of what you wanna do to yourself, no extra hands, you don't need no help.

Hit that doob,

The titties sitting pretty and pierced,

Twirl that nipple ring as you inhale another tote of the doob, why am I single she thought, oh yea these niggas is foo's.

Only a fool would allow such perfection please itself. Ash the doob.

Lean back against the wall,

Legs propped open , 

Right in front of the mirror,

Start with two fingers,

Tighten that pussy on em while you arch your back,

Small circles around your clit,

Wetness dropping down your thigh,

3rd finger goes in, harder circles around your clit, fuck niggas THIS YO SHIT. Legs trembling, you're close. Don't slow down, speed it up. More clit action, you feel it coming? Pussy get wetter and tighter. Breathe, breathe, you gotta enjoy the whole thing. Here it comes, pinch that nipple, stick those fingers deeper. hump them fingers, yeaaaaaaaaassss .. Catch your breathe , inhale exhale, baby girl you just did so well. 👏

Freestyle ..

You ever wanted to know how it feels?

The touch, the taste.. It gives your senses an intense thrill. The pussy so warm, sometimes niggas just lay and stare at her, trying to figure out a new way to make her cream. A finger in it ain't shit, make it disappear when i throw it back...on his fingers. Make baby wanna ball up his fist, yes baby, ball it up and twist. Ever had the sensation of all five in you? You ever licked his hand after he stretched that pussy. The taste , the thrill, the pussy gives you intended thrills. Have your heart racing, those fingers go deeper, tighten it up on em for daddy. Daddy like how that shit feels, I told you the pussy gives you intense thrills. 

Drifting On A Memory (Complete snippet)

From the first time he kissed me, his whole being aroused everything within me. I would lose my breath while kissing him, hoping his hand was palming my ass, just to keep me from falling. I would step closer into him, his lips would abruptly leave my lips and attack my neck....the way he licked my neck made my pussy throb almost immediately. His hand would travel through whatever type of bottoms I decided to wear that day. He would grab my panties and pull them back so that the fabric created friction on my clit. His kisses

"Maya! Maya!", Charles shook me out of my sleep. My eyes shot open, I had a feeling id done something very stupid.

"Maya what the fuck? Why is you calling this nigga Sincere name in yo fuckkn sleep?!" The look in Charles eyes scared the shit out of me so I made sure to think it through before I gave him an answer. He looked at me , irritated and waiting for my answer.

"He, Sincere , was in my dream Charles. He was dying and in my dream I was crying so I guess that's why I was saying his name in my sleep." I tried to look Charles in his eyes, I was actually searching for my own answers. How long was I calling out for Sincere?

Charles got up from the bed and made his way to the bathroom, I sat up with my head against the headboard with my eyes closed, trying my hardest not to cry. I was fucking up big time, i don't know why Sincere kept coming to me in my dreams. Our relationship ended a year ago but then again, we still remain in contact, if Charles knew that though, he would probably leave me for good. I got out the bed and walked toward the bathroom where Charles was. I stood at the door for a few seconds with my ear to the door and what I heard made my heart sink.

I turned the doorknob, it was locked. I put my ear back up to the door and now the water was running. He was trying to hide his sobs. I slid down the door and landed on the carpet, I could no longer hold in my cry. I was hurting. I was hurting the one man that gave me everything in his being just so I could smile. And how do I repay him?

Charles finally unlocked and opened the door,I felt myself falling backward but Charles legs broke my fall. I turned around and looked up at him, his eyes were still red. He had been in the bathroom for almost an hour.

"Charles..." He looked at me with death in his eyes..
"Don't say shit to me Maya", he turned and walked towards the bed.
"But Cha.."
"Didn't I tell you not to say shit to me?! You fuckin calling out yo ex nigga name in your sleep and now you wanna talk to me?!" He looked at me with daggers in his eyes, if I didn't know any better I woulda thought he was bout to whoop my ass.

"Charles!! I told you what I was dreaming about!" I was crying now, my stomach felt weak, my knees felt weaker. If I wasn't holding on to the bed, I'd be on the floor.

"No! Maya you lying! You don't know wtf you be doing or saying in your sleep! You was MOANING that bitch ass nigga name! You was rubbing your pussy in your sleep Maya! Explain that shit to me!!!", I have never seen Charles this upset before. He looked at me like he was waiting for an answer. I looked at him dumbfounded. He was right, I didn't know what I did in my sleep.

"Charles I was not rubbing my fucking pussy, you doing too much now", I spat back at him. He just looked at me in disgust and grabbed his phone off the dresser. He hit a few buttons then threw it in my direction.

When I picked up the phone, my hands trembled and my mouth dropped. There I was, in bed with Charles, on my back rubbing myself. My hands trembled more, I looked up at Charles who sat there silent with his head in his hands. I dropped the phone on the bed.

"Charles I - I -I don't know what to say baby ", I reached over to touch his arm, he snatched his arm out of my reach.

"Tell the truth Maya damn! Tell the fucking truth! You're still fucking Sincere!" He was crying again. I didn't know what to say. My granna always told me never tell on myself but I can't keep hurting this man.

I took a deep breath and exhaled. "Ok Charles, I was dreaming about Sincere. I didn't know I was playing with myself though.", he looked at dm and laughed right in my face.

"You think that's what I wanted you to be honest about? Maya clearly we both know you was dreaming about him, you said the muthafucka name a few times!" He raised his voice and swiftly grabbed me by the neck of my tshirt. "Maya I promise, if you been fucking Sincere, ima kill you" I dug in his hand with my nails and he finally dropped me on the floor. I was shaking so hard, I can't believe he just did that. Why the fuck is he so angry? I understand him being angry but not livid and putting his hands on me. Charles had never.

I crawled until my legs were steady enough to hold my weight. I got in the bed with the covers over my head. I heard Charles moving around, I knew he was packing a bag. At this point I didn't even care if he left, it probably tripped him out that I didn't say anything. Instead I just laid there ,motionless and waited to hear the door close.

Once the door closed, I reached out and grabbed for my phone on the night stand. It wasn't there's. I started to panic. Where the fuck is my phone. I uncovered myself and look around for my phone, no sight of it. Did this muthafucka take my phone?! My heart started beating fast as hell. I looked over at the nightstand on the opposite side of bed and caught my breath. I grabbed the phone and was surprised when I pressed the home button.

Charles took the wrong phone. I felt like my heart was going to fall out my ass. I quickly went to the phone button and tried to call myself from Charles phone. I didn't see my name, not my government or a nickname. WHAT THE FUCK! I screamed. I dialed my number and when the name popped up on the screen, I dropped his phone.

My eyes started watering, I picked up the phone and looked again. Charles had me stored under "Cheating hoe". That shit broke my heart. I pressed the button to send the call through. It rang 3 times and Charles answered. "Can you bring me my phone Charles?" I asked calmly. "What? You got something to hide? You couldn't even ask me where I was going, you just worried about this fuckkn phone." Charles yelled into the phone.
"Coming from the muthafucka that got me stored under cheating hoe! Nigga fuck you and bring me my phone!" I yelled back. "Talk that shit when I pull up, I'm on my way!" Beep beep. He hung up in my face.

I just held the phone in my hand. I couldn't believe the shit going on. Charles phone vibrated. Then it vibrated again. Text messages. I didn't want to read it, something in me did but I really didn't. I opened the text icon.

BM😍 : you on your way? I want ice cream right now baby..!!
BM😍: I guess you sleep with that bitch, your child should come first! Fuck you I'll get my own ice cream! 30 week check up tomorrow morning, same time as last time. Bye.

My hands shook so hard the phone dropped in front of me and shattered. Charles doesn't have any kids or a baby on the way.. That I knew of.

Drifting On A Memory

From the first time he kissed me, his whole being aroused everything within me. I would lose my breath while kissing him, hoping his hand was palming my ass, just to keep me from falling. I would step closer into him, his lips would abruptly leave my lips and attack my neck....the way he licked my neck made my pussy throb almost immediately. His hand would travel through whatever type of bottoms I decided to wear that day. He would grab my panties and pull them back so that the fabric created friction on my clit. His kisses

"Maya! Maya!", Charles shook me out of my sleep. My eyes shot open, I had a feeling id done something very stupid.

"Maya what the fuck? Why is you calling this nigga Sincere name in yo fuckkn sleep?!" The look in Charles eyes scared the shit out of me so I made sure to think it through before I gave him an answer. He looked at me , irritated and waiting for my answer.

"He, Sincere , was in my dream Charles. He was dying and in my dream I was crying so I guess that's why I was saying his name in my sleep." I tried to look Charles in his eyes, I was actually searching for my own answers. How long was I calling out for Sincere?

Charles got up from the bed and made his way to the bathroom, I sat up with my head against the headboard with my eyes closed, trying my hardest not to cry. I was fucking up big time, i don't know why Sincere kept coming to me in my dreams. Our relationship ended a year ago but then again, we still remain in contact, if Charles knew that though, he would probably leave me for good. I got out the bed and walked toward the bathroom where Charles was. I stood at the door for a few seconds with my ear to the door and what I heard made my heart sink.

I turned the doorknob, it was locked. I put my ear back up to the door and now the water was running. He was trying to hide his sobs. I slid down the door and landed on the carpet, I could no longer hold in my cry. I was hurting. I was hurting the one man that gave me everything in his being just so I could smile. And how do I repay him?

Charles finally unlocked and opened the door,I felt myself falling backward but Charles legs broke my fall. I turned around and looked up at him, his eyes were still red. He had been in the bathroom for almost an hour.

"Charles..." He looked at me with death in his eyes..
"Don't say shit to me Maya", he turned and walked towards the bed.
"But Cha.."
"Didn't I tell you not to say shit to me?! You fuckin calling out yo ex nigga name in your sleep and now you wanna talk to me?!" He looked at me with daggers in his eyes, if I didn't know any better I woulda thought he was bout to whoop my ass.

"Charles!! I told you what I was dreaming about!" I was crying now, my stomach felt weak, my knees felt weaker. If I wasn't holding on to the bed, I'd be on the floor.

"No! Maya you lying! You don't know wtf you be doing or saying in your sleep! You was MOANING that bitch ass nigga name! You was rubbing your pussy in your sleep Maya! Explain that shit to me!!!", I have never seen Charles this upset before. He looked at me like he was waiting for an answer. I looked at him dumbfounded. He was right, I didn't know what I did in my sleep.

That Nigga

That Nigga

"Hit me up when you turn 18 boo" Jayce spoke into the phone.

She was surprised when she answered the unknown number, shit was happening faster than she thought.

"Man Cuh you trippin, you not the oldest female that I've talked to", Lavelle said into the phone. Jaycee took the phone off her face and just looked at it. She chuckled to herself, “Who the hell does this nigga think he is?”

“I didn’t say I was the oldest, ill just feel more comfortable if you were of age, I aint trying get caught up with a minor like that”, Jaycee waited for Lavelle to respond.

“Yea ok cuh, don’t get no nigga man”, Lavelle finally gave up. He knew it wasn’t the last time he’d talk to Jaycee, he wanted her too bad.



Jaycee

​I sat in the middle of my floor, indian style, listening to Wale play. I licked the chocolate flavored swisher and dropped the grinded dro in it. I started tucking and rolling but then I stopped. I found myself thinking about Lavelle more and more these days, I mean since I seen him the other day. Before that Thursday, I hadn’t seen Lavelle since his freshman year of high school, when I left Hunsaker. Even back then as a freshman, he was still bomb. He caught the attention of most if not all of the upper classman females, myself included. I don’t know about the other ones but I knew I couldn’t mess with a baby so I just admired from a distance until I went back to Pioneer High to finish my senior year.
​It was a Thursday afternoon and I accompanied my bestfriend to a trackmeet at Paramount High school for her baby brother. I remember this day like it was yesterday because when he caught my eye, I knew I wanted him but I also knew he was still a baby. Nonetheless, I had to have him so I worked my magic and got a contact on him. In the meantime, I watched him run his races.

Standing at a good 6’2, muscular build and cocky as hell,
Lavelle was a sight to see. I could tell he was cocky as hell by the way he walked around the track before his events. He had that “Im THAT nigga” walk and the more I watched, the more I wanted him.
​

After his race was over, I made my way down the bleachers and to the snack bar, he was headed in that direction as well. Once we go to the snackbar, I made my order and stepped aside so he could do the same. He ordered a Gatorade and began to walk away, before he could leave from the snack bar, I passed him a napkin, got my order and walked away.

​The trackmeet kind of flew by after that, and as we were on our way out of the stadium, I heard my name being called. I turned around to see who it was and my heart almost stopped. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t even speak, well I couldn’t find the words to speak. When he approached me, I thought I was going to collapse.
​
"So you was gone leave without saying bye cuh?"

It wasn't until then that I noticed Lavelles perfect teeth and smile. I damn near gasped for air so that I could say something back.

"I figured you'd take a little while so I was gonna see if you would use the number or not" I finally found the words to say. Lavelle looked me up and down and said,"You pretty AF for a dark skin girl cuh" . UGH I hate hearing that shit, that irritated the fuck out of me instantly .

"Yea um thank you, use that number, I gotta go" before I could finish the sentence, his rude ass was walking away in the opposite direction.

Rude ass boy, I thought to myself.


Lavelle

"Nah, the track meet was coo, I got 1st place in the hunnid and 4x1" I explained to my dad. This was our usually post meet talk that we always have. "Yea dad, I know. More practice pops, iight. Yes.....yes....mhm yea ... Next week.... Okay .. Love you too pops" I finally hung up. It don't matter, he always piss me off toward the end of the conversation. For a nigga that's barely around, he expect a lot out of a nigga.

I got up off the couch where I had been sitting watching espn, and walked into the kitchen. I reached up to grab a cup and a piece of paper fell out of my sleeve. When it landed on the counter, I didn't know what the hell it was or could be, seemed crazy as hell like a set up from a movie. I picked it up and read "Jaycee 5623422567"

I don't know why but I got excited once her name registered. I remember her from when she was a senior at the D and I was a freshman. She stood out to me then, but I was a young nigga, I knew she wouldn't take me serious. Not too many dark skin girls get my attention and Jaycee got it as soon as I seen her for the first time. Jaycee ain't tall but she got a little height, athletic build but not on no buff bitch shit. Big ass titties, nice ass but what stood out the most was her big bright blueish brown eyes. She didn't act like a girl like her would usually act though, I never talked to her but I could tell she was different from them other girls at school. Then one day, I just didn't see her nomore.

I was gonna text her but I decided to call in instead. Something about talking to a female on the phone made shit feel real. I dialed her number on my phone and I noticed I shook a little bit. I shook my hand quick to get rid of that punk ass tremor.

"Yea can I speak to Jaycee", it took her about 4 rings to pick up, I was about to hang up.

"Who is this" she sounded so proper.

"This Lavelle" the line went silent, I took my phone off my ear and looked to make sure she was still on the phone.

"Oh what's up young man" I chuckled and started getting to know Jaycee.

Jaycee

When I met Lavelle, like actually met him, I fell in love with him. It was love at first sight for me. That was 3 months ago. Today, I can't stand his fine ass. I let a bomb ass face fool me, bomb face and great dick. The young dick got me GONE.

Three months ago, Lavelle turned 18 years old. Yes I was not playing, I wasn't messing with him until he was legal! A month before that, he graduated from high school. Yes I am dealing with a baby. Except, Lavelle is mature for his age but the immaturity show every now and then.

"I need a Halloween costume", I said aloud while fixing my hair in the bathroom mirror. Lavelle was sitting on the chaise next to my bed.

"Why you need a costume Cuh?" He actually sounded upset. Lemme see how much he care, I thought to myself.

"What you think I need a costume for? To go out for Halloween!" I said back with a smile.

"You not going nowhere" Lavelle stood up and walked towards the bathroom.

I turned to face him instead of looking at him through the mirror in front of me.

Now we face to face and I can feel his breath hitting my skin. I try to back up a little bit but he pulls me closer to him.

"Where you going" his voice always makes my....

💋of death...part 1

Of Death…

​​    

​By:Kiera T.Thomas

 

“You cute”.

“Excuse me?” Prissy turned around to see who had just given her a compliment. She was next in line at Student Center at Southwest, trying to purchase a scantron before her next class.

When she turned around, his chest was the first thing she saw. He was that much taller than him, she looked him up and down. “This nigga got tobe at least 6’2”, she thought to herself. On her way up to his face, she noticed he had a lot of tattoos on his arms, once she reached his neck, she just knew he was some ignorant tattedgangbanger. Immediately turned off, she looked up, smiled and said, “Thank you”.

“I can help the next customer”, the cashier motioned at Prissy.

“You’re welcome Ma”, now Prissy noticed his deep husky voice, maybe he isn’t that bad, she thought.

 

After being rang up, Prissy picked up her new purchases and headed towards the door. Looking down at her phone, she realized she still had time to kill before her next class so instead of going to sit in the library like she did any other day, she decided to take a walk around the campus. It was a pretty spring day; it wasn’t too hot or too cold.

​Prissy always caught the eyes of the men on campus, rather it is the older men or the younger cats, and they liked what they saw but who wouldn’t. To only be 22, Prissy had it going on.

​Being that Prissy, whose real name is Prissicilla, is a mixed breed that alone caught the eye and attention of others. Her mother was a dark Puerto Rican woman, Princess, who was straight from PR. Prissy’s father, Jabori was at one time an international basketball star, playing for a few teams overseas, and Jabori was really a hit during his time. His time came to an end when Prissy was only 16; he died after having a heart attack on the court. Although Prissy barely knew or seen her father, his death still took its toll on the young girl life. She didn’t have any brothers or sisters from her mom so it was usually just the two of them. Princess, Prissy’s mom, worked a lot. That’s one thing Prissy didn’t like or understand because up until his death and even after, Jabori took great care of the two of them. It was until about a month ago that the money stopped coming in, which was because of Jabori’s bitter wife, Crystal.

​Yes, Jabori was married to Crystal when he met and impregnated Princess. At the time, Princess didn’t mind being his mistress because she was “kept” and every bitch wanted to be a kept one, especially if she was one of many. Princess knew her role though and she knew Jabori really loved her as much as she did him. They remained “close friends” until the day Jabori died so his death also took a toll on Princess life.

​Prissy was about 5’6, 134 pounds at her heaviest. Being the daughter of Princess, she inherited her beautiful hair, which was red like her fathers. It fell to the middle of her back and she usually wore it in a loose braid or ponytail. Her hips weren’t as wide as Princess’s but they were wide enough to fill out every pair of designer jeans she slid into. Her booty was ample, and she always worked out so she was in shape. The one thing she lacked were boobs, but her B cups got the job done and if they couldn’t, Victoria Secrets wasn’t far away. Her slanted eyes were butter cream in color and she had the most beautiful eye lashes, any woman would even her eyes alone. Prissy was truly a beautiful person, her soul was pure and her personality made people want to be around her. That’s one thing she inherited from Jabori, he was a true charmer.

​Prissy didn’t mind that at one point of time there was lots of wealth in her life that was no longer there because she figured that more problems came when you had money. When she was younger, a lot of people just wanted to be her friend because had the latest bags and clothes, not realizing that none of that mattered to Prissy. She soon found herself with limited friends andassociates.

Prissy​

​The afternoon breeze felt so good as I walked around the campus. Ignoring the hoots and hollering of my male counterparts, I strolled in my own little world with my headphones in and music blasting. Little did the guys know, I couldn’t hear them, I was just reading their lips. I would smile here and there because I’m not a rude person; I just know that I don’t want anything that these guys have to offer. ​

​I was turning the corner to go to the math building, where my next class was located and I felt someone grab my arm. I immediately snatched my arm back and took off my headphones, before I could go off about this person touching me, he spoke.

​“My name is Tommy, I’m finance major. I seen you in the Student Center, complimented you. You remember me?” he said cracking a smile. His teeth were as white as snow and look like they were as straight as dentures. My heart dropped into my panties.

​“Yes, I remember you but please don’t ever scare me like that again, you could’ve got pepper sprayed” I said while pulling out my pink can of mace.

​“Oh I see you don’t play huh” he chuckled and I gave him a look like “nah I don’t nigga”

​“So I told you my name, what’s yours gorgeous? Or I can just keep calling you gorgeous if you want”

​“Prissy, my name is Prissy, well Prissicilla” I replied.

He extended his hand and I accepted it and shook it.

​“Nice to meet you Prissy” he had a firm grip, I liked that.

​“So where are you headed now, would you like to go to lunch?” he asked and I looked at him kind of crazy.

​“Wait; slow down turbo, we got to crawl before we walk. I have a midterm in about 10 minutes so that’s where I’m headed. I’m not sure if I’mcomfortable going to lunch with someone I just met though, that’s kind of creepy isn’t it?” I was serious.

​“Ha-ha yea I see where you’re coming from, it does seem kind of creepy as you say but I just want to get to know you. It’s something about you, I got to know you ma” he paused. “Well here, take down my number and when you’re ready, we can talk more about this lunch date” he actually took my phone out of my hand and stored his number. This one of those kinds of guys, I thought.

​“That was real cute”, I told him “Okay I have to go to class, have a nice day um…. “

​“Tommy ma, Tommy” he smiled because he knew I was faking like I forgot his name.

​“Yea Tommy, well see you later”, I said before I turned to walk away.

​“Yea sooner than you thinks”, Tommy thought to himself as he watched her walk off.

Tommy

​I couldn’t get this chick off my mind, I had seen her around campus a couple of times before but I never had the balls to talk to her until today. Her beauty really made me speechless so every word I spoke was forced out. I felt like a bitch for being so smitten; look what real nigga uses that word? SMITTEN? What kinda shit is that? Cuh I’m really tripping over this girl.

​I really didn’t think she would give me the time of day when I approached her because sheseems stuck up from our previous encounters. I bet she doesn’t even remember those encounters. I broke my neck tryna open the door for her one day, a few weeks later I saw her driving around the parking lot looking overwhelmed so I knew she was running late or something, I  back out of the space I had just pulled into and let her have it. I was being a real gentleman and I didn’t even know her name at that point.

​When I seen her today in the Student Center, I had to say something. It was a fasho now or never type deal and look what happened. She had a nigga smiling from ear to ear when she actually talked back. At that point, I knew I wanted her and would have her. It’ll only be a matter of time before I’m smashing that every night and morning, mark my words. Niggas aint into relationships, just relations at this point in my life.

 

Prissy

​Thanks to Tommy, I couldn’t even concentrate on my midterm. I’m almost POSITIVE that I got a C or lower. I shook my head at myself in disgust; I’ll never get to Spelman with these grades. I had to do better and get back on my ish; I had fallen off a tad bit because I was bored with it.

​On my way out of the math building, I noticed there was something on my windshield, as I got closer I seen that it was a note.

It read:

“I hope you use that number, don’t be scared, I won’t bite and if I do, you’ll like it”

-TM

​That was the corniest shit ever; I thought to myself and chuckled aloud. This nigga really trying, I admit, it’s cute but come on, be a little bit more original. I see ima have to teach him some thangs.

​Tommy thought I was naïve, I could tell from his approach but I’m far from it. Little does he know, I know more about him then he thinks. I know all about his doggish ways and manipulating mind games, the school talks and so does the city we’re from. Word gets around quick out here and I always keep my ear to the streets. I already know his intentions, he wants to have sex with me and try to string me along for the right but I think he just met his Karma.

warming up

Whewww! I'm back I'm back !! Rejuvenated and ready to continue chasing my dream of becoming a well known author ☺️☺️☺️ 

I really hope Stanley's story was enjoyed because I really enjoyed writing it. Understand that was my first book so I can only get better from here 👍 just work with me, give me that feedback, talk to me people 👏👏 

Buckle up..

The one I couldn't let go

The day I finally paid attention to you, you had just come home from a business trip. I seen you outside, the sun hit your skin the right way and I swear I felt like I stared for hours. Your light brown eyes and fresh cut was enough to make me look for you on a social network. FOUND YOU. BEFRIENDED YOU & FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU. 

yea shit got tricky and rocky. we had a few ups and downs, went a few months without talking but when you came back around, those walls I built came crashing down. one step at a time, I told myself I was gonna get the Man I fell in love with. My old man. we became BFF's and that's all she wrote.

You officially became mine 3.20.14. The happiest day of my life. 

won't do it for twitter

I won't tweet the fact that my feelings are extremely hurt. I won't tweet the fact that one of my followers are to blame. I won't tweet the fact that just last night, you found your favorite spot in my Love cave and left a few visitors there. I won't tweet the fact that this morning when you woke up outta your sleep, it was me that you reached out to touch, I guess to make sure I was still there. I won't tweet the fact that no matter what I say, the fear of losing you is the biggest fear I have with this friendship. I won't tweet the fact that I can't open up to you bc I'm afraid that you'll use it against me or run away. 

I won't tweet the fact that my feelings are extremely hurt right now. I just gave you my last and in the same breath you find yourself turning your back on me. Over a locked door. It's so much other stuff to bicker and be mad about but this is what you choose on a Saturday night? 

I won't tweet it, I won't do it . 

..thoughts

The fact that a picture or words from someone we don't even know can alter our perception of what's going on in our lives. I wish I could just blame social media but it's not just it, it's me too. I am a part of the problem as well. I'm not sure why I crave attention but I don't seek it as much as other females do. I don't like to praised but I put my accomplishments on every network. I don't want to be talked about but I put so much of my business on networks. I don't want to be judge by my appearance but I post multiple pictures on Instagram. You see where I'm going with this? 

Today I deleted my Instagram and twitter, I no longer feel the need to know everyone's business or have them in mine. I have been my happiest these past few weeks and it was altered this morning bc of a picture from 8 weeks ago. That should never happen. I'm making the change. Nomore backsliding  

Swangin

there comes a time when she doesn't wanna run around the city anymore,

she ain't reppin those two c's for you anymore.

she use to let you come and go as you please,

Now you ain't even got the keys that match the lock.

all the bitches that use to pop up,

she don't even trip nomore,

she greets em on her way out. 

you ran over her heart with your big red four wheeler, it was once her favorite , kinda like you,

now she sees past you with no regard, how surprised were you when you seen her out there mowing her own yard? 

she exposed the biggest snake of them all.

at least we tried for a homerun everytime ✌️

A visit upstate.

Malcolm better be glad I'm really missing him right now. In between my job and my side hustle, I be too exhausted to make these trips upstate to see him. You see, Malcolm is upstate serving 6 years for some bullshit I need not speak of, yes it's that fucking stupid and embarrassing.

I got up early as hell and I'm mad about it. Pissed actually, got dressed and made my way to on the highway. The drive itself tires me out to the point that I don't care for the visit, that's bad huh? Oh well.

Malcolm really wanted to see dm this particular weekend, I had been writing him more lately so I guess I made him feel good. When we were together, Malcolm and I had a very different relationship. You see, Malcolm is a very sexual man so of course his mate would have to be just as sexual, if not freakier. I was just right for Malcolm. We both enjoy the art of orgasms, the release it act as. Our relationship seemed mostly sexual to the blind eye but we knew we had a special kind of connection. Malcolm and I were very adventurous with each other. We had gone to several swinger parties, orgies, etc. we had threesomes often too. I felt like it brought us closer.

Lately I've been writing Malcolm erotic stories and dreams I've been having. He told me it was imperative that I came to visit him this weekend. After arriving at the prison and going thru security, I sat in the waiting area with everyone else when this correctional officer approached me and asked me my name. My head had been down as he walked up on me so as my eyes went from his boots to his waist where his holster hung and up his big chest that looked like it was the sexist thing under his uniform shirt. His skin was the color of chocolate, dark chocolate. He stood about 6'7 but he wasn't skinny, he was thick. His facial hair was trimmed and jet black with sandy brown stands here and there. He had the deepest set of eyes, light Brown in color and his eye lashes were so dark and slighty curled. This had to be a GOD standing before me. "excuse me?" I asked as I finally picked my jaw up off the floor. I moved around in my seat bc my jeans were pressing against my clit and I didn't want to have a wet spot.

​

"Are you Charlie Gunuz ma'am?" He sounded like the Allstate guy. My pussy throbbed at this point. I tried to stop shaking my leg, "yes that's me" I finally replied. "Ok come with me" he demanded and turned to walk away before I could object. We walked past all the people in the waiting aRea and into a hallway. It was a dark hallway, not the one that leads you to the inmates. "Where are we going?" My voice trembled as I asked. He didn't say anything right away, he just kept on walking. He stopped abruptly and handed me an envelope. "What's this?" I asked as I looked down at the envelop that was addressed to me. "Just open it and read it" he demanded again and took a few steps and leaned against the wall.

​

chuck,

​

I'm happy you kept your word and came to see a nigga, be nice to dude you with right now, you might need him late ;) now follow the rest of his instructions and go along with everything cuh says.

​

Mal

​

I looked up from the piece of paper I was holding and he was looking at me but not the way he had been looking at me before, it was a seductive glance. "Follow me" again he demanded. I sucked my teeth and followed his instructions. When we came to a stop, we stood in front of a door with the last name "Brownson" I snickered when I read the name. He turned to and gave me a hard stare. I lowered my eyes like a scolded little girl. He opened the door where I came face to face with Malcolm.

​

Standing at 6'6 exactly, looking way thicker than he was the last time I saw him. Prison haircuts are starting to look better than the ones on the outside, baby was dippin, my pussy got went at that very moment. His pants hung on him the way I liked them to, he wasn't sagging hard but it was just right . By the time my eyes made it up to his face, he was giving me a all teeth million dollar Malcolm Travis smile. I wanted to run and jump into his arms but I wasn't sure if I could. I looked over to Brownson for an okay and he nodded his head.

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when I wrapped my arms around Malcolm's neck, I know he felt my heart beating thru my chest. He wore DG light blu , I knew the scent right away. He always wore it when we went out. Malcolm had to bend down for me to get my arms around his neck, he lifted me off the floor. I wrapped my legs around him and inhaled him for the first time in too long!

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"I missed you" he whispered into my neck, it sent chills throughout my entire body. I just hugged him tighter. His hands rubbed the length of my body and they stopped on my waist. His touch brought back so many memories, sexual memories. I stood on my tiptoes and his lips finally met mine. I wasted no time putting my tongue in his mouth but as soon as I felt his tongue my pussy was throbbing and likely drippin. His tongue taste sweet, like he had eaten a piece of candy right before I got there. His hands explored my body as he kissed me. I let out a sigh when I felt his hands reaching up my shirt and up under my bra, stopping at my nipples. I loss my breath. His touch was electrifying. Brownson cleared his throat as he stood at the door of his office. I forgot he was even in the room, I was embarrassed.

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"My bad man, Charlie, this is LT.Brownson. He's the reason I got this visit with you." Malcolm explained. I extended my hand ,"hi I'm Charlie, nice to meet you abc thank you for giving us this visit" I gave a shaky smile. Brownson looked at my hand and smirked. He walked up to me, stopping only inches away from the "personal spade" invisible lines. He took my hand and brought it to his mouth and kissed it. "Nice to meet you and you're more than welcome" the tone of his voice and look in his eye made me feel some type of way so I stood closer to Malcolm .

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"Chuck remember how you said you couldn't wait to have another threesome with me?" Malcolm kind of caught me off guard with that question, I felt my cheeks get got. I looked at Malcolm then to Brownson and back to Malcolm. How did he pull this off?

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I finally answered ,"yes I remember" I said in my big girl voice. Malcolm moved closer to me and stood behind me, now we're facing Brownson. He moves up right behind me and the warmth of his body could now be felt on me. I got the chills instantly, his warm breath on my neck drove me silently insane. "You're gonna let him fuck you?" The question sent even more chills thru me. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me in closer so that I could feel his dick poking thru his khakis. I loss my breath, I unconsciously put my ass into his pelvic area, I guess my body knew what to do under his touch. One of his hands found a belt loop and when he grabbed my upper thigh my jeans tightened up near the crouch. The way the material rubbed on my clit, my knees became weak and Malcolm found himself holding me up.

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"You good ma?" He looked at me a little scared.

I found my breath "yes I'm okay" I turned around to face him and before i say what I was gonna say, his tongue was in my mouth. Our tongues danced and our hands did as well. I couldn't wait to undo his pants, I stuck my hand down the front of his briefs and found what I been missing. He was so warm and thick, just how I remembered it. I ran my hand up and down on it while squeezing a little bit. Precum started dripping and his body tensed up. I had been dreaming of this exact moment lately, I mentioned it in my letters to Malcolm.

I wasted no time dropping down on my knees in front of Mal. I pulled his pants down to about his knees, pulled his briefs down just as far. I admired his dick for a minute, I just looked at it and admired its perfectness. how could one muscle hit every spot known to my body and find new ones on a daily basis, we'll not so daily these days but you get what I mean.

I used one hand to hold his dick and my free hand to rub on his balls. I lifted his dick and let my tongue flick on his balls. He leaned against the desk in the LT. Office. I opened my mouth and took them in my mouth. I slowly stroked his dick as I let my mouth massage his sack. I stopped giving his balls my attention and opened my mouth for the main course. I licked the tip of his dick, just seeing the veins pop out made my pussy throb. I opened my mouth and made my way up his shaft. In and out, I twist my wrist every other stroke to give him a ill extra delight. My mouth is wet as helll and the spit drips down my hand. I feel Malcolm hand on the back of my head, I love when he starts fucking my face. I open my mouth and let him control how far he goes in my mouth. I stick out my tongue so he can go as far down as he wants. I grab on to his upper thighs to slow him down, I'm gagging too much for my likings. Brownson clears his throat again, I really forgot he was still there. I turned to see what he was doing , Mal still had hold of my head. He was seated in a big red oak chair. Dick in hand, looking at me super seductively. From where I was, with my horrible eyesight , I could see ole boy was packing. I looked up at Malcolm who was basically giving me a non verbal "ok". Brownson moved from the chair to the matching chaise and sat at the far corner of it. I could tell by the way he looked at me and the chaise that he wanted me on all fours, on the chaise. As I made my way to Brownson, Malcolm whispered "do yo shit ma" in my ear and slapped my ass. That man, that damn man. Malcolm did something to me, i don't know what to call it but it's something strong.

I got to the chaise and stood there for a minute, I craWled on the couch so that I was on all 4s. I took brownsons dick from him and opened my mouth, I had to open my mouth wide because of its girth. I waxed his dick with spit the first taste, I went up and down on it while spit dripped from my fist. He put his hand on the back of my head as I went up and down on it . I twisted my wrist as I fucked him with my mouth. He let out a hard grunt. I opened my mouth and took as much of the snake as I could, I hummed when I could feel him in my throat, he moaned again. Just then I felt a hand on my pussy. Malcolm had come up behind me and he was playing with my pussy. I was so wet that his fingers kept slipping out of me. He licked my juices off his fingers and stuck them back in me. I sucked brownsons dick as I threw my ass back on his hand. I sucked harder on the tip of brownsons dick, he tried to take it out my mouth but I grabbed his balls and he squirmed on the chaise. He grabbed on cushions and he tensed up. I tensed up too, Malcolm was putting his dick in me from the back. Its been a minute so Malcolm had to take his time getting in me. I arched my back while holding brownsons dick in my hand. "Toot this shit" Malcolm called out and I did as I was told. With a long deep stroke, Malcolm found his dick covered with my juices. He Stroked again, at this point I couldn't breathe at all. I arched my back as much as I could.i had to feel him in every part of me. He held onto my hips and slowly stroked my pussy as I tried to suck brownsons dick. Malcolm got his rhythm going and I did too. My head was going up and down on brownsons lap, using my freehand to play with his balls, I could tell he was close to nutting and so was Malcolm. Malcolm stopped fuckin me and pulled me up. "Now let him hit it, I told him it was fire, I don't think he believes it" 'Malcolm said with a smirk on his face. Malcolm sat down on the chaise and I was on the floor in front of him with my ass in the air waiting on Brownson to come get some. I don't know but I was looking forward to him fucking me. He came up behind me and stuck 2 fingers in me swiftly. He caught me off guard. I took Malcolm's dick in my mouth and started showing him how much I missed him, he kept eye contact with me as I showed him my skills. I lost my breath when the lieutenant shoved his entire dick in me. He hit me with hard strokes, I couldn't even concentrate on the dick in my hand, the one in my pussy felt too good. I came instantly and I put Malcolm's dick back in my mouth, I sucked and spit, stroked and sucked. When he went to grab my head, I stuck out my tongue so he could go deep in my throat. With my free hand, I reached between my legs and played with my clit as Brownson punished me from the back. His bAlls slapped against my ass and Malcolm's dick raped my mouth. I grabbed Malcolm's dick and sucked on the tip, I knew this drove him crazy, his body tensed up and I braced myself for what I been waiting for. I stroked him few more times and he grabbed my head to pull me closer and at that exact moment, Brownson pulled his dick outta me and abruptly stood in front of me . I went back and forth on their dicks, I guess both of them wanted my mouth, Malcolm was closer to nutting so I Stroked him and sucked on the tip til I tasted something salty then I felt the explosion in my mouth as he grabbed my head and forced his dick down my throat, I relaxed my throat and took it all in . He had a few aftershocks but I had unfinished business with Brownson, I sucked Nd stroked his dick, letting my tongue linger on the tip for few seconds , "open your mouth" he said in a husky voice. I opened my mouth and he fucked every inch of it until I felt the warm nut touch my tonsils. "Swallow it, all of it" he demanded. I drank his nut and winked as he collapsed on the chaise. I stood up, walked over to Malcolm and kissed him on the cheek and told him "see you when you come home" I grabbed my jeans , put them on, looked around and found my shirt and did the same. I found my shoes and headed for the door, they both looked at me in amazement and confusion. "I'll see myself out, thank you guys" i walked out of that prison with a smile of success on my face. I patted my pocket to make sure the small recorder was there, I knew for sure the whole thing was recorder. My baby would be home sooner than anyone thought. ;)

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